Emergency Call

Last week I went to celebrate my sister in law's 50th birthday. As many times on such occasions, like on weddings, baptisms or other anniversaries, one gets to meet people from beyond one's usual circles. People, strangers in fact, who one suddenly shares stories to and gets to hear stories from.

It was then, that I got introduced to a lady named Anni. She has just turned 60 and had a remarkable story to tell about her life. It was however her profession that caught my interest, as she said she works for an emergency call center. Indeed she is the voice at the other end of the line, in case one would be desperate enough to seek help, consolation, perspective, sense in life or self esteem by calling such an emergency call number. She could be the one person who gives relief to desperation and who prevents the worst from happening.

I asked her many a question about her job and she shared to me that most people calling up that emergency number had either never had or lost faith or purpose; did not know about the value of their life and have begun to get lost in shallowness. She shared to me that a frequent matter discussed is the situation where an adult woman would meet a guy, both flirting and ending up in the "inevitable." Then, the next day that woman would seek the guy only to find out he was already busy digging at some other woman. This being discussed was taken as a serious matter of emergency.

Upon my amazement Anni further shared that indeed it is the loss or lack of values, faith or purpose that to her mind is the reason for such and other kind of life-unfitness. These people, according to Anni, do not know about their value, they do not see that there is more to life than only eating, sleeping and sex. She said most have never heard that even ordinary people have a calling, a purpose. That it in fact opens doors of "life-options" if only one takes up the effort of thinking about life.

This issue made me look things up and I found that indeed the World Health Organization or WHO (12.9.2006) had announced that more deaths in a year are caused by suicide than are by war or murder. There are an estimated 20 to 60 million global suicide attempts of which about one million are "successful." And - confirming what Anni told me - the WHO states that the risk for suicide caused by losing one's job is much higher than the risk caused by bad social settings or economic conditions.

Indeed, the loss or lack of purpose has a severe effect on one's self-esteem or recognizable self-value.

This makes me think about preventative measures. "People, ready to commit suicide, are in a tragic situation, in which help could be offered," says Brian L. Mishara, Ph.D., the president of the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP). He believes that the number of global suicides can be reduced by making more complicated the access to chemicals and weapons used, and at the same time by improving the availability and the supply of therapies for depressions, alcoholism and schizophrenia.

I would like to believe that functioning social webs like family and friendships also contribute to the prevention of suicide. Friendship per definition means those two or more people, who like and value one another for being who they are. Friendship is founded on affection, trust and mutual esteem. In the best of cases, it is not even purpose related but friends are company in the way that it no longer matters who of the friends is "winner" or "loser". Who is superior or inferior is not an issue among friends. Friendship values a person for being who he or she is, merely because one is who one is. This is the best help to one's self esteem that one can ever receive from another. And yet is true that the best way to gain a good friend is by being one. This can be our contribution to reducing global number of suicides already.

Thus, friendship can have a therapeutic and healing effect in case a friend is suffering from a tragic life situation. Those however, who do not even have family or a good friend to run to finally end up talking to Anni, the very friendly, patient and understanding woman, who - like a friend - has the time and the ear to listen to any concern at any time of the day and any day in the year; and who knows who best to turn to, in case further help is of need or sought.