Fathers

We all know it: a family consists of a father, a mother and one or more children. Then of course there are grandparents, uncles and aunts as well as cousins and nephews and nieces. And yet we also readily include the "in laws" and godparents, maybe even the friends and neighbors, who can equally already grow close to one's heart, as close as they are already considered part of the family. And all of these then draw the entire picture of a firm and stable social web. Such picture pleases the eye as well as the senses of the spectator as it shows a world safe and sound and so we lean back in our armchairs and allow the mood to take long strides in our emotional entity. Yes, mankind is a social being and social webs function well.

Yet while contemplating over such perfect picture of the fairytale family the awareness might creep into our thinking that so many times this common and widespread cliché just is not true. For so many reasons families are not only left being just the core family, but even less than that we already know so many "families" which temporarily or for longer times or maybe even for all times consist of only one parent with kids. And reasons for such are as plenty as are painful: Be it that for a while one has to work in a distant or abroad place to secure the families survival, be it that this while takes longer than ever planned or thought it would last, be it that the marriage broke up for some reason and both decided to live separated, be it that only one decided such and abandoned the "rest-of-the-family," be it that carelessness, naivety, violence or rape caused a woman to become a single parent. These things happen and we ourselves know many a case where this is a lived reality.

Equally true is that most of the times it is the mothers who are left as single parents and fathers are nowhere to be found. And we do not even take any surprise in that, as it appears to our eyes as most natural that mothers and kids go together. It is mothers who stay with the babies, mothers care, mothers feed, mothers hug and caress, mothers change diapers and sing lullabies. And as this has grown to be a natural thought in our awareness already we many times fail to question the presence of the fathers. Yes, we thank all the selfless mothers, we praise them and celebrate them for maintaining their kids' lives, but with no comparable engagement do we ever ask or search the fathers who are equally responsible for their offspring.