Piles of Trash

It is „half-time" in Germany. The academic year has reached Carnival and Ash-Wednesday, the time where German students receive their reports on their performance so far. All exams are written, all grades are completed, all documents are submitted and now they all hold in hands the report about how the first half of the year went for them. We all pause for a number of days and breathe.

Yet I feel like this short breathe I am given does not really free me, does not recharge me. Too many things have piled up in my place. Things I still wanted to attend to when I get the time to do that. There are some further non-urgent errands silently waiting on my desk, I wanted to also read that book and those magazines which are waiting on the shelf. I always wanted to free that chair which is occupied by my clothes. And I was given this guide by a friend, which I kept but was never drawn to look into. And I have this old keyboard which no longer works, but I never made it to cut loose from. And I once had that incredibly immature idea to collect newspaper articles on natural science of any kind. Those have found a place on the floor and have grown to knee-height already - yet all un-organized, un-sorted out and un-attended to. Somehow just too many things have suddenly taken room in my place and I start feeling oppressed by all of those.

This half term break, I think, should be an opportunity to clear out my room, my life, and get back to ease and freedom, but how do that? I would like to again feel comfortable in my home; I wish my place gives me safety and shelter again. I need more space and I think where I live should be a source of good life rather than anything else.

I get into thinking what the things are that burden me and which put me down. Those things, I understand, are items I do not need, I do not use. They do nothing but make me tired and lethargic. They cause an evil conscience on me. They in a way keep me stuck in the past and by that they are no less than genuine ballast. These things silently and gradually increase in number, extent and volume. They are to be found in hidden corners, on top of shelves or in store places. They accumulate in the garage as well as on my desk. I find those even in my mail inbox. But how to tell what to dump and what to keep?

Well, some things are just futile or too much already. I never use them and they cause me an evil conscience due to never using them. Others need to be repaired and they bother me, nag me, when I want to use them. And yet others do not anymore fit me, like that black jeans I once used to wear. Some things just cause a sad feeling on me when looking at them. Like I still have those mugs and plates in my cupboard - a gift once given to me by a lover long lost. I think I should really reconsider much of these.