Some forces never fade but accompany us any day, anywhere, anytime, through all our life.
We experience anxiety and arrogance, despondency and distraction, we know disappointment and despair. Doubts and faint enter our thinking as do uncertainty and helplessness. Fear and failure, quarrel and resignation are not strange to us, neither are envy and pride. All of these we know, all of these are with us, in our life, in our being. And all of these are normal, are common and ordinary.
The employee, who dares not to speak his mind or heart in front of his superior; the spouse, who got disappointed by the partner; the unfulfilled desire or sin one carries in his heart; the pains over not having met own or other demands. We stay silent when speaking would be advised and we argue when we better not talk. We take ourselves too seriously or to importantly and impose ourselves when it is not our turn. So many times we would even fail to do what is for us to be done. We just are content with sitting and waiting, as we might already know that showing up, standing up will make us attackable and will force us to fight a maybe painful battle. Even if the matter is of value we prefer to rather remain unidentifiable, unrecognizable, undetectable, but safe.
It is easier anyway to remain a part of the mob as being in the mob one is never alone, one is never taken accountable one is never identified as responsible.
But what about tomorrow? Where will we be then? Will all of these change us already?
What if my colleague is still treated unfairly? What if my neighbor is yet breaking down? What if my friend keeps suffering over us arguing? What if I remain all fear and anxiety? Over how people around me? Over how they do or fail to do? Or how they look at me? What if finally I find out that the way others see me differs much from how I see myself? Do I dare to clarify? To myself? To the other? Do I dare to shelter? To speak out loud? Do I dare to show who and how I truly am? And looking into the mirror every morning, do I still see truth, good and love inside me?
Last Thursday, May 21, I attended the last of Taizé evenings in Fr. Johannes Trai's parish St Anna. As it was Thursday before Pentecost the Saint of the evening was Sr. Elena Guerra from Lucca (1835 - 1914), Apostle of the Holy Spirit. In Andrea Borneis' meditation on Sr. Elena Guerra she shared to us that Elena was blessed with the gift to gather young people around her and to fascinate them, so she found it her calling to teach and guide the young. Ever since her own confirmation she always felt close to the Holy Spirit and she gained all her energy and drive from it. Holy Spirit, that is fearlessness and force, drive and devotion, courage and confidence. It is trust and truth, commitment, involvement and power "The Holy Spirit wants to give itself to all mankind and all who long for it can receive it always." So Elena writes.
"The tree will be judged by the fruit it bears" says Jesus (Mt. 12, 33). And St. Paul: "The fruit of the spirit are: Love, joy, peace, patience, friendliness, generosity, fidelity, gentleness, self-control." (Gal. 5, 22).
In Sr. Elena's congregation as well as in our days today we see that the charisma, which are described in St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians (12, 4-11) are not merely reserved for the first Christians, but go hand in hand with an ordinary Christian life. Sr. Elena encourages us: "Pentecost is not over. It truly continues everywhere and any time. [...] So we need not envy the apostles and the first faithful. We only need to gain their inner attitude to truly receive and He will come to us as He came to them."
I got to understand again that it takes an openness to live a life of value: Open senses to perceive, open mind to comprehend, open heart to understand. And who of us would not want this earth to be a better place? Who would not want to live without anxiety, arrogance, despondency, distraction, disappointment, despair, doubts, envy, pride, faint, uncertainty, helplessness, fear, failure, quarrel, resignation? And rather live joy, peace, patience, friendliness, generosity, fidelity, gentleness and love.
And on Pentecost we sing "Sende aus Deinen Geist, und das Antlitz der Erde wird neu." Send out Your Spirit and the earth's countenance will be new.
Pentecost may remind us to be open to the Spirit so indeed this world becomes a better place for all.